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[双语] 如果一直对孩子说"Yes"效果会怎样?

时间:2013-09-06 22:25来源:未知 作者:unicorn 点击:
Like most children, my own brood complains constantly about my style of parenting. Youre always saying No, they complain, as I tell them they cant have yet more mayonnaise on their dinner. 像大多数孩子们一样,我自己的孩子也一直抱怨我对他们

  Like most children, my own brood complains constantly about my style of parenting. "You’re always saying 'No'," they complain, as I tell them they can’t have yet more mayonnaise on their dinner.

  像大多数孩子们一样,我自己的孩子也一直抱怨我对他们的养育方式。晚饭时当我告诉他们不能再吃蛋黄酱的时侯,他们抱怨说"你总是说'不'。"

  "It’s bad for you," I say. "So, no, you can’t."

  我说:"再吃对你们的健康不好,不,你们不能再吃了。"

  "You say no to everything,"says Leonard, aged eight.

  八岁的Leonard说:"你对任何事情都说不。"

  He and his younger siblings — Jerry, six, and Ottoline, three — then list everything I have said ‘No’ to since they got home from school. Sweets, playing outside with their uniform on, biscuits, getting stuff out from drawer, painting?…

  他和弟弟妹妹们——6岁的Jerry和3岁的Ottoline列了一张清单,上面写着他们从学校回家后我说的所有的"不"。糖果、在外面穿着校服玩、饼干、从抽屉里拿东西、画画……

  I’ve always considered myself a pretty easy-going parent, and yet here they are telling me I’m a nay-saying harridan.

  我一直认为我是一个脾气很好的妈妈,但是他们竟然说我是一个总说"不"的老巫婆。

  According to the currently fashionable idea of ‘free parenting’, though, what I should be saying is ‘Yes’.

  然而根据最近流行的"亲子养育"观点,我应该说"是"。

  It’s particularly interesting to me because I recently decided to try an experiment. In the style of ‘free parenting’, I would say yes to everything my children wanted for an entire week — and see what happened.

  因为最近我想做一个实验,所以这就对我来说特别有趣。根据"亲子养育"的方式,在整整一个星期内,我要对我的孩子的要求通通说"是",然后看看效果如何。

  The only rules were not to let the children know what I’d decided to do, and to ensure that I alerted them to the consequences of their actions, so they could make their own well-informed choices.

  唯一的规则是不让孩子知道我在做什么,并且确保已经对他们的行为做出了提醒,然后让他们做出自己的选择。

  But what if they wanted to swing on the curtains and to paint the walls red? What if my teenage son, 14-year-old Raymond, wanted to bring girls home every night and smoke? What would I say then?

  但是如果他们想要在窗帘上"荡秋千",或者想要把墙全涂成红色呢?倘若我14岁的儿子Raymond晚上想要带女孩子们回家或者吸烟呢?那么我该说什么呢?

  There was only one way to find out?…

  只有一种方法可以知道……


  DAY ONE

  第一天

  It all starts pretty well. The children get up for breakfast and we follow our usual routine: let the dogs out, eat cereal, dress, make packed lunches.

  刚开始时非常好。孩子们早上起来吃早饭,然后按照日程去做:放狗出去,喝麦片粥,穿衣服,做中午的便当。

  DAY TWO

  第二天

  Things are beginning to change. "Why are you being so nice to us?"they say, as I nod my head to all requests.

  事情开始发生变化。当我对所有的问题点头时,孩子们问"为什么你对我们这么好了呢?"

  ...

  DAY SEVEN

  第七天

  Experiment nearly over and I feel I have proved a point — one that is very interesting to all of us.

  实验即将结束,我感觉我已经证明了一个道理——一个对我们所有人来说很有趣的一个道理。

  For a start, by the end of the week the children are imploding. My acquiescence to everything has meant that they are not only buzzing with e-numbers and sugar, but are exhausted, too

  开始时,孩子们在周末把家里闹翻了天。我的经验告诉我,他们不仅吃了很多带食物添加剂和糖的东西,而且玩得也精疲力尽了。

  But I have also learned some important lessons. The hassle of clearing up the kitchen after they have made a cake is nothing compared to the joy I feel when I hear them laughing so freely.

  但是我也学到了很多,相比于听到他们无忧无虑的笑声,在他们做完蛋糕后,清理厨房时的争吵压根不算什么。

  They just wanted to have fun, to laugh more; to not have every request quashed by a negative.

  他们只是想要玩得开心,想要笑得更多;不想所有的要求都被拒绝而已。

  They also, I think, really started to understand why I create boundaries in their lives, because as much as they don’t like them, they are lost without them.

  我认为,他们也开始真正地明白,为什么生活中我不让他们做一些事情,因为他们越不喜欢它们,却越不能离开它们。

  As I go to put them to bed on the last day, I find them sitting in a circle, doing a jigsaw together.

  在最后一天当我让他们上床睡觉时,我发现他们坐成一个圈,正在玩七巧板。

  "You’re playing together!" I say.

  我说:"你们在一起玩!"

  "Yes, can we stay up late?"asks Jerry.

  Jerry说:"是的,我们能晚点睡觉吗?"

  "No," I tell them.

  我告诉他们说:"不可以。"

  They all troop off — but looking mightily relieved, it has to be said.

  他们匆匆散去,但是似乎强烈地松了口气,因为这是必须要说的。

(责任编辑:unicorn)
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